Austin’s Story

                                   

Austin Thomas Hoppman was born on June 29, 1996.  The labor and delivery was short (we made it to the hospital with 45 minutes to spare).  He was diagnosed with Down Syndrome which we knew was a possibility due to low AFP levels.  The next day, the doctor detected a slight heart murmur.  We weren’t surprised since heart problems are very common with DS.  When Austin had an echocardiogram a few weeks after birth, the hole in his heart was found to have closed on it’s own.  We were so excited that he wouldn’t need surgery.  Little did we know what was to come.

When Austin was 12 weeks old, he caught a cold and went into respiratory distress.  From our local ER, we were transported to a larger hospital 60 miles away.  This is where Austin would remain for the next 4 months of his life.

On January 20, 1997, exactly 4 months after hospital admission and 5 days after big brother Kyle’s 2^nd birthday, we were able to bring our baby home.  He came home via ambulance with a tracheostomy tube in his neck, a ventilator and oxygen, a feeding tube in his stomach and home care nurses.  We were quite a sight in our little town.  But we were finally a family again.

By that summer we were able to wean Austin off of the ventilator and the oxygen and we were able to travel without tons of equipment.  Things were getting back to normal.  We still had nursing help at night and while we worked.  Austin still had a trach and a feeding tube, but they were fast becoming part of our normal routine.  Considering all the medical issues with Austin, he was very healthy and a joy to all.

On October 13, 1998, our lives fell apart.  Austin was still sleeping that morning, or so we thought, when we left for work and the nurse arrived.  I stopped back home after dropping Kyle off at preschool and a quick grocery store trip, only to find my husband, Clark, home and the ambulance already gone with our baby.  Clark’s first words to me, through tears, were “they think he’s dead.”  Our nightmare began with the ER visit.  The second I saw Austin I knew he was gone, even though they were still trying to revive him.  We were finally told that there was nothing more they could do, that he had died before he even got to the hospital.  Family and friends had been notified and were there lending support, not that any of it helped.  We were able to hold our baby one last time before it was time to go home and begin funeral arrangements.  Even when Austin was at his sickest, it never occurred to me that he could actually die.  He was such a happy baby, and everyone loved him.  I miss him more now than ever and I am so grateful for every second I was able to spend with him.

Austin, We miss you and think of you every second of every day.
Love, Mommy, Daddy and Kyle

Here is a poem written by one of my friends
after Austin died.  It's very special to all of us.

                                                                October 13, 1998

Dear Mommy and Daddy,
 

Now I lay myself down to sleep,

the angels have brought me home to keep,

they are holding me, cuddling me, and keeping me warm,

they are telling me the story of how I was born.

I was created from love shared between two,
they prayed for me as everyone knew.

We came a long way in my short two years of life,

but my little body just wasn't up for the fight.

Don't worry about me Mommy and Daddy for I am safe,

Heaven is a wonderful place.

It's always warm here, it's never cold
and the swing sets are made of solid gold.

The playgrounds are huge, the toys are grand,
we have slides, teeter-totters, and lots of sand.

We slide on the rainbows, we play on the clouds,

we never get hurt when we fall down.

There’s no thunder, no lightening, no tears or pain,

alls we get is a little rain.

Please don’t cry for me, for I am not alone,
there’s lots of other babies who have also come home.

I already have my angel wings,
so I can fly down upon you and Kyle and check up on things.

You are the best Mommy and Daddy from what I could see,

God just had other plans for me.

He didn’t want to hurt you or make you grieve,

he picked you as parents to create a beautiful me.

I am sorry to sadden you with my brief stay,

but the other babies were calling me home to play.

I will always be within you, in your heart and soul,

I was just too beautiful for this world.

Love,

    Austin                                                          By Judy Carey