Whose Shake Is This!!?


A loutish and insipic presentation of scurrilous incoherent ramblings and other dull tedious shite arranged in a convenient and affable chronological format. 		     


Saturday, March 21, 2009

43 Rabid Chihuahuas Racing In A Teacup 2009, Part 1

Evil Ones---

Before I get to it here....I was thinking of, for some unknown arcane reason, how hell of cool it would be if there would be a UEFA Champions League soccer match going on at Bristol Motor Speedway DURING today's Scott's Turfbuilder 300 or tomorrow's Food City 500. Just IMAGINE the clash of cultures there!! FC Barcelona vs. Bayern München!! Wow!! Soccer Hooligans and NASCAR Hillbillies all in one little teacup!! How focking nutso would THAT be!! Bring it ON!!

Well...that said, there IS a big English Premiership dustup today at White Hart Lane that I am following with keen interest. My Chelsea Blues are paying Tottenham Hotspur a visit with absolutely nothing on the line for Tottenham, but the Premiership Championship hanging in the balance for Chelsea. Also Chelsea needs to saty on a winning track for their upcoming UEFA quarter-final draw with Liverpool ((Yarrrgghh....For me that's like the Packers and the Steelers playing each other....)). So...




GO BLUES!!


I suppose too, I should get us caught up with the perilous and thrilling exploits of the Busch Brothers. Especially Kurt's newest take on the Polish Victory Lap!! I focking LOVED that!! And as always, when Kurt wins...just as I did with Rusty before him, I took mine. What was I drinking that day again? One of you here remembers, I think. SPATEN Oktoberfest? ALE ASYLUM Hopalicious? Anyway, as soon as Kurt took the checked flag it was poured out and replaced with a glass of ice and a bottle of MILLER Lite! But before I get to that, here's the BIGGEST surprise of the NASCAR season so far:

David Ruetimann (yes THAT David Ruetimann) would be in the Chase if the regular season ended NOW!!


"I am STILL ever so VERY PROUD of you, David!!!"



Yes....ahem!! And so on. Well on with the show here. I'm a little concerned with where Matt and Kurt qualified for Sunday. They are back in the field quite a bit. They'll need to jump ahead VERY quickly if they have a chance to contend with the other odds on favourite:



The aforesaid other odds-on favourite qualified his nice colourful boat
in the 10th position (which I do believe is doggy style). Here he
comes!!



Well....since all the boys ARE chasing him right now....and you
KNOW how much loves that...That Homo Jeff Gordon is going
to be tough beat on Sunday. Matt and Kurt and That Lout Kevin
Harvick will have their work cut out for them.



Meanwhile....ANOTHER suprise of the season so far, is none other
than Kasey Kahne. He has quietly snuck into the top 10 somehow
and I'm not sure how or why.



I don't think Kasey Kahne knows how or why, either. It
certainly can't be the BEER. And I'm not sure it has anything
to do with Richard Petty being the titular figurehead boss.
Maybe it hasn't something to do with the Focking Belgians
taking over Butt-Wiper. After all, those Focking Belgians brew
this unremarkable concoction called STELLA ARTOIS which
even the soccer hooligans Brits decry as being Wife-Beater
Beer. So....I wouldn't put it past those Focking Belgians to
have THREATENED Kasey Kahne in some sinister and VERY
European way. For example:



Kasey's New Look


Well...anyway...he's got the #9 Butt-Wiper Dodge in the top 10.

Onward.

Meanwhile, Tony Stewart's Big Plans seem to be working out SO far:



Even though Newman is currently buried at 32nd....Smoke is 5th in
the points. And Newman will climb back up and finish on the lead
lap one time there now and all will be well.


NEWS FLASH!! THIS JUST IN!!




I have just made a curious discovery!! There actually are
Jeff Gordon fans who not GAY!! Amazing!!

And at the 34 minute mark as I type this, it's 0-0 draw at White Hart Lane.
I'm not the least bit worried.

Respectfully submitted,

Evil Schmitty





Go Blues!!


Mood: Skeptical & Sullen
Beer: GRUMPY TROLL Spetsnaz Imperial Stout
Music: "Super Special" by Seira Kagami

posted by Fat Nakago at 11:46 AM




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