I'm quite certain that I hate the relentless pursuit of perfection. Now don't get me wrong, it's a noble and admirable cause, and it's not really the pursuit of it that drubs me, rather, it's the insistence upon it that tears the heart and soul out its noble purpose....the insistence that nothing but perfection can be accepted or have value. Anything that falls short of perfection is somehow unworthy of existence.

I'm not going to tolerate or allow anything that drains MY soul, so with that thought in mind...well....FUCK the New England Patriots!

I suppose I will continue to practice what I preach....whenever I reach a crossroads and see a road sign that says Perfection 5 miles that way, I will turn other way and find a path more interesting to me. Discoveries and inventions never occurred by pursuing perfection....mistakes, errors of judgement, quixotic notions....THOSE seemingly less noble pursuits ofttimes light the way towards a different and more valuable sort of brilliance.


For example, take the case of:



Sheryl Nome, the Galactic Fairy....heir to the notion of Lynn Minmay and Mylene Jenius that music will save the world. All you need to do is sing and SING!!

It seems, at first glance, that Sheryl Nome will be, like Mylene Jenius, less annoying than Lynn Minmay. But quite like far more bitchy. Also, her opening torch song sort of sucked. She should have taken a cue from Haruhi Suzumiya....or better yet, the folks in charge of that whole Macross deal should have made Haruhi their Galactic Fairy or whatever the fock!




If you're going to sing a song, then get up there and sing a focking song that grabs them by the balls ((and the female equivalent whose semiotic symbol escapes me at the moment)). Pity ((putting it mildly)) that we'll have to wait until spring for more MACROSS FRONTIER to find out if Sheryl will lose the unbecoming bitchiness and also sing a focking worthwhile song.

Ditto to see if the Valkyrie wannabees will become and/or remain as dysfunctional and/or psuedo-gay as the current Gundam Meisters. I guess it's time to trot out the nostalgic cry of JOIN THE ROBOTECH RESISTANCE!

Meanwhile, the 2007 anime season has come to a close, for the most part. And I suppose I should trot out a few of my NASCAR heroes to wax eloquent on how loose Da Capo II got loose in turn 4 before crashing into the wall and sliding down the track, on fire, and taking out a whole bunch of other unremarkably derivative shows whose names ((which rhyme with Shana and Nanoha)) will not be mentioned here. Instead, I will keep it simple.

Craftsman Truck Series Champion Ron Hornaday will, in his tough and deceptively unverbose manner, present my Top 9 Anime shows of 2007:



"Okay folks, listen up. I won the Craftsman Truck Series in the #33 Camping World Chevrolet Silverado by being tough and persistent all season. I never gave up and neither did the best Anime shows of 2007. It was a year when Men were Men and Girls were Girls, and it was almost as great as my 3 rd Craftsman Truck Series Championship. Here are the top 9 shows of 2007:

1. Lucky Star
2. Tenga Toppen Gurren Lagaan
3. ef-a tale of memories
4. Code Geass
5. Minami-ke
6. Gundam 00
7. Sky Girls
8. Umisho
9. Manabi Straight"


Thanks Ron, and congrats on your Championship! I'm sure this years winners will get a nice set of Craftsman Tools, a $1,000 Camping World gift certificate, and a years supply of choco coronets.

Anyway, I wanted to mention a show that I watched religiously and started to enjoy until it began to confound me to the bitter and apropos end.




I refer to School Days. I hesitated to put it in any sort of top 9, top 10, since I have a hard time embracing the idea of putting it in with the likes of ef, Manabi Straight, et.al. Instead, I will give it the NICE BOAT Award, and leave it at that. I do highly recommend y'all watch it, if you haven't.


There. I've been a perfect model citizen tonight and have not wreaked deserved destruction on Lonely House (again!) and Tarte Taitin and 1_more_safelist and Some Goof's Mobile Blog and music, makes the people, come together, yeah. Isn't perfection nice?

Mood: Perfectly and Relentlessly Sullen
Wine: CHATEAU PESQUIE Cotes de Ventoux 2004
Music: "God Knows" by ENOZ
posted by Fat Nakago at 11:38 PM

The past 3 months have been deservedly dark and miserable beyond imagining. Numbing to the soul, and suffocating to the heart. This time, the absence was not the usual thing, but something far worse. Costly not only in a metaphorical or poetic sense....but costly in the viscera of reality. No details need be belabored. All that matters now is moving forward without pause. Never again will I allow this to happen.

A NASCAR year in review and a NASCAR year in preview is waiting to happen. And it might happen tonight....but meanwhile, let it be known that here's another promise I am going to keep:

ABSOLUTELY....Anelise Mastella is the sort of bloog that back in the day would get the royal treatment but since I can't read Portuguese, I can only infer from the imagery that there must be something vaguely dreadful contained therein.

AND I don't need to speak or read Russian to decipher the utter shitassery in ??? ???????????....nope, no mistaking this one!

ALSO, one can only hope a sea flood comes to wash this dull tedious shite out to sea.

HONESTLY I dont pretend to grasp the lunatic horseshite of otwfghiee or mdzmiwsbppq, both of which purport to be about intense emotional filmdom, and the free fo fly a mountain hong cinema, and the China sexual love search a machine, and the free sex movie diagram, and the neighboring girl become number of a policy, and day adult's version with 8 dragons.

HOWEVER, there is something about Secret Friends that is both compelling and disturbing all at once....it has an almost hallucinogenic turn to it....maybe it's the gay guy under the Christmas Tree, or the Pocahontas picture, or the Christmas Card depicting a scene that no one in Brazil or Portugal as ever seen in their entire life. Who knows.

OF COURSE, I must be Dreaming!! Sure there can't be a blitheful and puerile girl out there who just adores cartoons, can there??? Please tell me that this is just an insipic and terrible dream!!






I refuse to talk about the past few months, but certain aspects of it are unavoidable, since I've always wanted this to become more of an anime/NASCAR blog and less of a sleen-ventingly visceral critique of all the deserving little bloogs of crap out there. I will try to do so in a spirit of moving forward. For example, if I suddenly decide to bust out with, "More Sumeragi fanservice NOW!!" Well, then I will do so. Those of you who know what I mean, will know what I mean and quite likely agree. And yes, I know that's not Sumeragi wobbling. :P If I tell you that recently, on a certain forum, I've taken on the persona and avatar of LOL Fang Sensei, then many things will become clear to you regarding my recent anime viewing habits. You might also have the opportunity to guess, without me telling you, or belaboring the past, what my favourite show, by inference, of the summer season was. Or, perhaps not. A close shave...but whatever. Without revealing anything, aspects and signs and signals can be revealed. And what is revealed, can then reveal.



This is very much like my current favourite show of the fall season.....ef - A Tale of Memories. This is a wonderfully told story about two sisters whose interwoven past unravels and then reweaves itself into a story that is both wonderous and sadly beautiful.


Perhaps it is better to forget the specifics of the past and begin each day with the creation of new memories.




Someone who falls right into THAT wheelhouse is none other than Dale Earnhardt Jr. 2007 was and is best forgotten. Take the diary pages, rip them into little butterflies and let them fly away. Now there are those who feel that he's gone from the frying pan into the fire....yes, he's left the clutches of the evil stepmother, but he's now cast his lot with The Evil Empire and will now circle the track with That Homo Jeff Gordon and His Uni-browed Butt-Buddy Jimmie Johnson as his teammates. There is much for some NASCAR fans to be concerned about here.

We knew there was going to be trouble brewing when Junior jumped into Kyle Busch's ride at Texas Motor Speedway It was only a matter of time before Junior was peeking the window on Hendrick Motorsports....it was also a matter of time before Kyle Busch (below, with finger in his ear)

would take off his Hendrick prom dress
and join the always resplendent Tony Stewart


at Joe Gibbs Racing. Now as for Junior, it remains to be seen how well he truly will fit in at Hendrick Motorsports. It's a different world from DEI, where Real Mean, were, well...Real Men.

At Hendrick, it's That Homo Jeff Gordon who rules the roost, and at Hendrick Motorsports, Real Men Wear Crushed Velvet.

(from R to L: 2007 Nextel Cup Champion Jimmie Johnson; Jeff Gordon; Dale Earnhardt Jr.)

We all know Junior's cars will be more reliable in 2008. And we all believe that6 Junior will make the Chase and contend for the Championship. But we shudder to think of what could happen when gets to Victory Lane in 2008....a repeat of Jimmie Johnson/Jeff Gordon Victory Lane Celebration??


"Brrrr!! The Horror!! Casey, that's Sooooooo Yuck!!"
"I know.....I had to do that when I won at Charlotte. I had to kiss BOTH of them!!
"Ewwwwwww....ICKY YUCKY.....ICKY YUCKY!!!"

At some point during the 2008 season it will all come down to a little pre-race meeting of the minds with crew chief Tony Eury Jr. Hopefully, that epiphany comes soon and Tony sets him straight. (pun not intended)




More on this later, no doubt. My take on 2008 is that Junior and Matt will duke it out for the Championship. Newman and Stewart will also have something to say about it. And maybe, I'll give odds of a rook on this, the Kasey Kahne Desperate Housewives and Teen Age Girls will pelt BOTH Junior and That Homo Jeff Gordon with cans of Budwieser at Talledaga next year. Hopefully, Carl Edwards won't go all Gundam Meister on Matt Kenseth and the rest of the Roushketeers in 2008. And....and....speaking of Gundam.....WHERE is my Sumeragi Fanservice!!!






What?? Is that it?? You mean I haven't got any more....????


I guess Yoko will have to do.




Alright, I will confess. My favourite show of the summer season is Kenko Zenrakai Suieibu Umisho. Don't ask for any fanservice from that right now, as I've taken off my prom dress and am ready for....ah fuck it. Here ya go!





Mood: Guardedly Sullen
Wine: HARDY'S Whiskers Blake Tawny Port
Music: "Daybreak's Bell" by L'Arc En Ciel

posted by Fat Nakago at 9:01 PM

I must point out before I do anything else, that after 2 3/4 years, Kowrisa the Faerie Kau still has no fishing skills. I'm not sure if she is still starving and dying, but my guess is that she is since her owner, Debi Hodges, has not logged into Neopets for a long, long time. As for my starving, dying Neopets, well...they're not starving and dying any longer.... At the moment, they are on vacation at the Neolodge, delighted and bloated and awaiting my return. My main pet, BuckshotJones00 the Checkered Korbat eagerly dreams of the gourmet foods I'll be feeding him soon. Meanwhile The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie Of Prosperity still floats sadly on his cloud high above Faerieland.

Killed a few birds with one stone there. LOL. Onward.

And let's get the nicities out of the way too. Mr. Piano Teacher has some nice photographs on his bloog, and Ms. Designer has some curious and interesting stuffs on her's.

Done.

Now I had brave expectations of maybe THIS time making this what I've always dreamed it should be, the 15th worst Anime/NASCAR bloog of all time....maybe even the WORST!! I wanted to spew out my growing disenchantment with the aforementioned SCHOOL DAYS which had great potential for rising above it's eroge roots to become, I hoped, an edgy, early 21st Century, Kimagure Orange Road. But as it stands right now at Episode 11, with only 1 to go...it falls so far short of the mark that I'm not sure I could look Ayukawa Madoka in the eye. I hang my head in shame for pinning my hopes on this. The only hope left for me now is for Kotonoha and Sekai to go all Higurashi No Naku Koroni on Makoto...who has become, in my mind, the most loathsome anime character since Ikari Gendou. I'd rather root for That Homo Jeff Gordon than root for Makoto, whose actions, as the show progresses, devolve into one systematic cruelty after another. When a character makes Ataru Moroboshi seem the height of charm, dignity, style and culture, well...that character has got a bigger problem than getting a girl pregant. So...I was going to spew on and on about SCHOOL DAYS and go all Andrea Dworkin about how shows like this PROVE that PORNOGRAPHY IS VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN but I guess it's just as well that I await the bloody bitter end instead. In the interim, I could offer a bit of advice for the all characters in SCHOOL DAYS: "Avoid close emotional entanglements with those more psychotic than yourself." There. I just flew in from Madison and boy are my arms tired. Funny and ha ha.

I'm probably better off sticking to what I know best and despise the most...roasting the paltry and insipic bloogs of the Wired....after all, it gives me something to do. Bring me more Beached Whales to slaughter!! Bring me more Families of Gundam Pilots and their Evolution Worlds to bitch-slap 'til hell wont have it! Load me up with Everything I Need To Know since I obviously don't know shit and and could use some Blogging Tips....all 4 of them!! And by all means make sure that I'm fully informed about Everybody's Precious Fucking Baby!! I can't live another minute not knowing about that!! Nor can I take another breath until I know all the craves and hates of every teenage girl in the universe! And what I crave and hate is the unrelenting bombardment of other people's personal thoughts and the half-assed little worlds they take us to. All I ask for is a nice pretty little target I can blast the fuck out of. Bring on The Fucking King of Comedy!!

Instead, I feel a bit guilty for not mentioning David Pearson in the same breath as Haruhi Suzumiya. I know there's a crazy cuckoo cosmic connection there just waiting to be revealed. And just beyond my grasp, are those lionizing kernels of truth about Floral Magician Mary Bell and Future Police Urashiman that could bring amazing clarity to almost everything that has been going on this past season with Evernham Motorsports, DEI, and Hendrick Motorsports.

But no...I'm just a dull turtle, instead of a stern defender of all that is right in the universe.



And now, after reading all this, so are you.

Time to Hit The Hay.




Mood: Sullen & Dull
Beer: STAROPRAMEN Premium Beer
Music: "Satan's River" by Porter Wagoner
posted by Fat Nakago at 9:16 PM

Despite what y'all might think after reading this, I simply HAVE to post more crap here more often. Like it or not!

Maybe if I posted more often, I would naught be so full of total and utter contempt for 99.7% of everything in the aforementioned and deservedly lampooned blogosphere. I might get that number down to, say 94 or 93%.

I'm begging the question as usual, I suppose.

My quixotic notion of making this some ANIME/NASCAR bloog, well....I might as well be the guy who manages HELL, as in HELL is still under new management. Ya know, THAT guy. There is too much, hell, too much heaven, too much of everything. I could have been taking the easy way out and posting up my weekly newsletter that I send to 3 of my NASCAR buddies. THAT way, the entire population of Port Moody, British Columbia, could, over the healing hands of time, know more that what each man, woman, and child in that town need to know about the alleged homosexuality of Jeffro Gordine, and the existential antinomy that lurks beneath the surface when one suddenly realizes that this great anime SCHOOL DAYS was actually an eroge.

Fear not. I'm not going there anytime soon, I hope. What I really wanted to do all along was write this truly lucid and insightful bloog post about the Power of Love in anime, using offbeat and unexpected anime as examples. No, scratch that, I would just go with the usual suspects, such as Marmalade Boy. I would write bloog posts about Marmalade Boy that you would cry yourselves to sleep over....just as y'all have, many many times cried yourselves to sleep over actual episodes of Marmalade Boy.

Now don't be ashamed to admit this....for y'all have done this.

Anyway, I was going to write this brave and terrible essay on love and it was meant to be a guest post on this fabulous blog from Germany, Heterochromia. And then, hopefully a few more people than the entire polulation of Opelika, Alabama or Hazelwood, Missouri would get to read this.

But here I am, begging the question, instead of tearing the rest of the heart and soul out of Trever & Krista's Wedding Nightmares. Probably just as well since Trever looks like he could come over here and kick my ass t'il hell wont have it. Also, I'm not roasting Mommy I'm Loony!!! until all the life that was never there to begin with is sucked right out of the meat. As for the couple who escaped to New York....well....words escape me at the moment....just not to New York. But just around sunset, the words come strolling on home for some pulled pork and cornbread and sweet tea. And the words are: " Sod off you dopey wankers!!"

But I'm not doing that. I'm not twisting the knife into any paltry and inspic family bloogs. I'm not railing against the mind-numbing shitassery of Aemilia or "We Have Some Planes", or even worse yet, Hardcore Punk. *hrrrr*

Then again, I'm not talking up my darling Evangeline either.....my Dream of Doll Pitts who is beyond cuteness. I'm not saying a word about the WI BJD Forum either....nor am I uttering a sound about Geek.Kon. Nothing, either about LUCKY STAR!



Nope...not a word about dolls, or Lucky Star ((or any other anime)), or NASCAR. Not a murmur about Barbie and Ken, other then "Naughty Ken....NAUGHTY!! You're not supposed to kiss Skipper!!"; Ken Schrader; or Hokuto No Ken.

Once again, I've run some sort of semiotic gauntlet. I'm not quite sure what step on the ladder of writing I'm perched on. But unless you wish to engage in some sort notional poetic discourse, you'd best back away now.



Mood: Sullen & Semiotic
Beer: NEW GLARUS Hearty Hop IPA
Music: "Love Is Stronger" by Sebadoh
posted by Fat Nakago at 9:07 PM

It's been awhile since I've allowed myself to be consumed by contempt, disdain and the mean-spiritedness that has given me 22507 moments in the sun, as though, for example, every man woman and child in, say, Watertown WI or Golden Valley MN or Birmingham MI sat down and read my bloog (it's a small world after all....) and wallowed in my hatred and disdain. SWEET!!


Onward.


Actually, this reminds me of my disdain for things that are "all the rage". That goes for all the hell of cool slang being used currently. The use the of the word SWEET!!, for example, is infinitely more annoying and far less groovy than the use of hell of cool ever was. If I ever ever EVER use the word SWEET!! in any way, shape, or form other than to refer to Sweet or to describe a piece of candy or a glass of Sauternes, please feel free to gather up the entire population of East Peoria, Illinois to hunt me down and kill me in the all the ways possible.

I'm begging the question, I suppose.

Meanwhile, I wonder why tedious, trite and banal family bloogs are more charming and palatable when written in German? Don't have an answer for that one.

Let's ask Salty, what HE thinks.... ?????????


Now when I come across a bloog like The Return Of Violence, it puts a smile on my face for a moment. It's straight up with no banal commentary or last gasp reviews. It informs one, in pictures that there are more Death Metal bands out there then some of you would care to know existed. Good! Let's bring 'em on! Let's crank up some Asesino and read (the) God's favourite paltry and insipic teenage girl blog. Sweet!!

And here they come to kill me, just as I was fixin' to turn this into the 43rd best NASCAR blog in the world....the entire population of Marshalltown, Iowa!!

Sigh...and just when I was going to, perhaps, consider posting my weekly NASCAR takes that I email to few of my buddies. Instead, I'm going to become the subject of a song by one of those Brutal Death Metal bands.

I won't say it.

Or...just when I was possibly going to make good on my promise, or wish thinking, of turning this into the 37th best Anime blog ((or was that the 37th worst...I can't remember)) dutifully reporting on all the gallantry of Mika, Manami, Mei, Mutsuki and Momoha in Manabi Straight that uplift the human spirit.



And I was, quite likely, ALSO, going to unravel the semiotic wisdom of Kagami, Tsukasa, Konata, and Miyuki in Lucky Star.




But nope. My deserved death is being celebrated in song by Dismembered Fetus. I will have to get Sasa to be a guest blooger on MY bloog. in return, I could be a guest blooger on HER wonderful blog, Heterochromia. From my blood drenched glass coffin I could do a little take on the second season of Victorian Romance Emma. Emma will break your heart again....and etc.





But...that NASCAR bloog concept doesn't want to quit. I suppose I should I give it a little tire test here. What follows will be, verbatim w/o editing, an e-mail titled Junior Sells His Soul To The Devil that I sent to my buddies, Jeff Graff, Steve Zwicke, and Squirrel on May 16th, 2007:

Evil Ones---

I've not been supplying you with the appropriate and essential commentary for the past 2 weeks and I must apologize.

Especially since this last weekend was Darlington! I hang my head in shame for not even watching the race.....I was at the Anime Central convention in Chicago. And as at Richmond the prior week, my crew of Matt, Toni, Denny, Newman, Johnnnny, and David Freakin' Blaney brought me another 2nd place finish.

But what I wanted to tell you was that ominous things are on the horizon for Junior if he's not careful. The scary part is if you do the NASCAR Math ((I'm going to make sure it becomes an essential part of the school curriculum statewide if I'm ever elected Governer of of West Vertucky or Alabamissippi or Tennesseesiana or South Carolorida))

I'll give you a sample of NASCAR Math before showing the peril it could put Junior in:

Sterling Marlin / Robbie Gordon = Kurt Busch 14 / 7 = 2

David Ragan x Greg Biffle = Tony Raines 6 x 16 = 96

See?? It's simple and innocuous enough.

But dig THIS if you will: Dale Earnhardt x Junior = That Homo Jeff Gordon

*hrrrrr* The HORROR!!

Respectfully submitted,

Evil Schmitty

Kasey Kahne x Kyle Busch = Kyle Petty

Kenny Wallace / David Ragan = Joe Nemechek

Ken Schroeder x Kurt Busch = JUAN PABLO MONTOYA



So there you have it. If I feel like doing this anymore, well...y'all will be the first to know, along with the entire population of Xenia, Ohio.


Mood: Sullen, without a hint of Sweet
Beer: HUBER Premium
Music: "Any Sunny Day" by Belle & Sebastian
posted by Fat Nakago at 10:34 PM

I'm on a new computer with Windows Vista Ultimate that I built myself. It's got 1K of RAM and a 300 baud modem. Fasten you seatbelt!! The WOW starts NOW!!

Font issues seem to be the most perplexing thing to me at the moment, outside of the sound card not working properly, of corse. I dont have Gill Sans for some reason, but I have all these fonts with goofy and unusual Mongolian or Malaysian names...which I guess is kind of cool but will take getting used to. I long for the fonts of yore like Dom Casual.

Press any key to continue.



There.

Theoretically, this is a focking new and improved Blooger, allegedly. Courtesy of Gargle. I can't really see much of a difference. Not much to say about it other than it matters naught how nicely pressed the brand new trousers are when you put them on your dog, it's still a dog wearing a pair of trousers.

I suppose I will have to fock with the fonts and the sound card later. I can type, I hear music through the headphones but not the speakers. Onward. It's been a long dry season with very little hate to show for it. It's not that I've been growing less and less disdainful, it's more a matter of me reading blogs that aren't paltry and insipic shite. It's more a matter of me not looking for trouble. Not that there isn't PLENTY OF TROUBLE out there. I've just been less inclined to go and find trouble.

Nor have I sought the bewildering girl blogs redolent with terrible teenage girl poetry that used to fuel my furious words.

Instead, I've been a consumer of blogs, not an evicerator. I've been avoiding all the awful, dreadful crap out there and keeping it on the sunnyside. I've been voting everyday in the loli battle being held on lolitron. Today, for example, I voted for Kyon's little sister from The Meloncholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It's been mostly sweetness and light. Yes it has!!

The irony of it is is that I could probably make this one the BEST anime blogs out there if I wanted to. Instead, I've preferred to read some of the best anime blogs out there instead and let this one be, perhaps, the 37th worst anime blog out there. I could post everyday the breathless ramblings about the latest episode of Manabi Straight or Venus Versus Virus complete with screencaps; spoiler alerts; poignant commentary and criticism regarding the fappability of the main characters; and little bottles of beer ((yer comments, ne....that cool chick from Germany who does Heterochromia calls the comments cheesecakes...me, the ugly old fanboy from Wisconsin would call them bottles of beer ftw...)). Instead, you get to read some more of THIS dull and tedious shite. Both of us could be spending our time more productively watching Nodame Cantibile, or fapping to this. FTW....etc.

There is no virtue in reminiscing over the good old days when I would slash and burn a Prairie Gumbo into the oblivion it deserved. There is little play these days in putting Autonomy in Austin in its rightful place next to Satan. ((Which reminds me....Hell is STILL under the same new management, and it's just as useless as it ever was.)) There is hardly a twinge of thrill in grinding Jennifertopia into the pink vomit from whence it spewed. It seems hardly worth the effort to twist the knife any deeper into tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it than the knife already is, so NO COMMENT.

It's just not the same anymore, I suppose. I guess I'll just go download the Vista driver upgrade for my shiny new 9" green screen so I can watch the next episode of Le Chevalier D'Eon as soon as uTorrent delivers it to me.

For the meantime, it will be more of THIS I'm afraid:



Mood: Just Plain Old Fashioned Sullen
Beer: LEINENKUGELS Creamy Dark
Music: "A-LY-YA!" by Rena Satou, Akemi Kanda, Ai Nonaka, & Yu Kobayashi

posted by Fat Nakago at 9:38 PM

Well, alright. It's not like I haven't found a shiteload of awful dreadful crap wail upon and drag through the amok. There's been more than enough to fill a million or three bloogs worth of belaboring the obvious. I haven't lost my touch. It should be pointed out, for example, that HELL is STILL Under New Management, I guess, but not the management that was previously in charge there....the manager, which I hope is the same manager as before, now calls his blooog My Uselass Ramblings. Very apropos, ne? Also, my ol' pal Sander is STILL Searching for Vampire Girl. So somethings are still fairly semi-normal. He still hasn't found:




I'm not quite sure why. ((Oh yes I am....)). But the truth is somewhat more elusive than the usual laziness and vicious nonchalance with which I approach this bloog concept. Lately, or, over the descending series of months, I've been finding some very good bloogs about which I can say nice things....bloogs that I can praise without a knod and a wink.

It's almost sad to think of it. And just as hard to accept. Evil, after all, requires less energy in the long run than happiness, since evil plays upon entropy and happiness requires a continual uphill climb. And since my bloog concept fairly requires me to skew evil, it is quite odd that there have been less blasts of evil from me. Outside of the usual time, and laziness issues....I haven't been as compelled to go evil because the bloogs I've been reading lately are all rather good. And rather than write about how good they are, I simply read them, and move on.

The common thread is that they are all Anime Blogs. And very good and interesting ones at that. It started last December with a blog, Fourteenth Planet, by a U.W. Madison co-ed. She has very cool stuff on it...good writing, great screenshots. So that one, and Anime on My Mind, got me going on Anime Blogs.

Those, along with current favourites: Die! Fanboys; RIUVA, Research Institute for Unicultural Visual Arts; Heisei Democracy with its soon to be redesigned layout; zero thoughts; Lolitron, ((how could I NOT like that, ne?)) with it's remarkable figure image board; and Onii-chan no Ecchi, which posts the most tremendous and glorious filth you'd ever wish to see, view, and read about.

You see the dilemma I've been faced with. How can I engage in my usual nasty and evil jackassery when faced with all that good stuff? After all, not only do I have no use for ordinary humans, I also find the less than ordinary even MORE insufferable. Perhaps I've come to terms with the bloog concept....or....perhaps I've more likely come to terms with the bloog concept as it applies to anime and manga. When dealing with anime and manga and modern visual culture, bloogs become less dull, less tedious, and often interesting and remarkable. They are far and away more affable and readable and meaningful than all those political bloogs that tout and toot about whatever comes out of Condoleeza Rice's asshole every day. They are less likely to inspire my venom, and thus my poison typewriter, since after all, I am NOT doing this bloog on a computer, despite all evidence to the contrary, I am typing this blog on an ADLER J-5 manual typewriter((photo not available at press time))..... ((anyway, it's the worthless hideous people that concoct psuedo-blogs like Free Thong Gallery that are more likely to provoke me)). They are less like to provoke me than usual vapid tedious shite you find out there like Good Evening, where GLENN is always the winner; or Stayin' Alive, which might actually have some virtue buried in it somewhere, but I'd rather suck a whole ripe tomato up my asshole w/o squishing it than try to find it. Then again, I take back what said about political bloogs, since I just found one, not in my bible, that amuses me...at least for few descending series of moments.

And even those moments conspire against me, since I clicked the infamous Next Blog> link hoping to find some paltry, insipic, college boy or un-readable teenage girl poetry bloog to lambaste and instead I come across a very cool looking bloog, El Diario del Bicho Azul, about Chilean Comic Book Superheros. Then I come across Azul's American counterpart, David Campbell, who's going to review his comic book collection whether you like it or not. And it's got interesting cool stuff. So I can't seem to win. I can't even find bloogs that are worth killing anymore! Alright, I'm begging the question. Seek and ye shall find.....I know I know!

But....instead of seeking those easy prey and roasting them until the blood shoots out their left nostril or nodule, I hunker down and read the lastest Kono Sono. Instead of hate, I try and figure out the meaning of:




Mood: Melancholy & Sullen
Beer: HUBER Premium
Music: "Hare Hare Yukai" by Hirano Aya, Chihara Minori, & Gotou Yuuko
posted by Fat Nakago at 10:19 PM

If there was such a thing as actual, true cleverness, in this world, I wouldn't be here either. Me writing this. You reading this. And so on. All that dross. But since we can just about dispense with that facile notion, it should not surprise anyone that there is a blog like The Infinite Monkey lurking out there, which makes no pretense whatsoever about being anything other than a cliche. What surprises me is there are naught, or haven't been, MORE of these lurking out there and it took me until this very moment to uncover THIS one. That this 19 year old monkey (pun not intended) from Seattle also has a Live Journal, a Word Press, and a MySpace version of this makes this all the more stupefying from the artistic perspective since I rather doubt this young pilgrim realizes the true art history potential behind his work.

Meanwhile, this, for me is more or less something to do while waiting for Full Metal Alchemist to come on.

I always seem to think I might have something clever to say, but I suppose we should dispense with that facile notion as well.

My biggest problem and my biggest virtue is that I dont do this bloog deal often enough, obsessively enough. In the interim, a hundred or so fascinating concepts flicker and then grow dim. Maybe I should just go with the monkey concept, or, the Chewy route.

When it rains, it pours!! How do I find this this stuff?? WHY do I find this stuff. I'd much rather talk about Wedding Peach or Yotsuba To or the exceedingly slim chances of Kirk Shelmerdine going anywhere in Nextel Cup anytime soon, let alone finishing the Daytona 500 tomorrow. I should be fine tuning my fantasy NASCAR teams for tomorrows race lest I somehow end up with that homo Jeff Gordon and that lout Kevin Harvick in the starting lineup. Instead, I writing my worst bloog post ever. I should hang my head in shame!

UUUUUUUUHGGG-rrrrrrrr! RRRRRRRRR

clkdslfhlsdkhflsjslnf;hf;akjf'asjvnasjfs'akstka'katjv'ojpajgaojtajgjgj;!!!!

Mood: Sullen & Shameful
Beer: HUBER Premium
Music: "Anonymous Gay Sex" by The 1985
posted by Fat Nakago at 8:33 PM

Day after day, I think about typing something. Instead of here, I type and type something elsewhere. Meanwhile I find much more goodness and virtue in the bloogs of others. But that light that has been shining brightly for months doesn't find a way to reveal itself until this very moment.

So instead of bile and vitriol...I can shine a little light on something good. Here is something good: Anime on My Mind. It's got all kinds of cute crap that's worthy of your attention.

Another one I like a lot is Fourteenth Planet. VERY nicely evocative of the deep emotional gravity that great anime grips us with. See?? The empires of the future are INDEED the empires of the mind. Plus, she's from Wisconsin. So bonus points. In fact, from now on, ALL anime should be set in Wisconsin, and not Japan. That's a rule that should become truth!

On the other hand, I have no friggin' idea why I bookmarked Moonbase. I must have lapsed, momentarily, for a descending series of moments, into my old ways......since THIS piece of shite is what it is, and nothing can redeem it or do nothing about it. No amount of iced tea and cornbread will fix it up proper with any sort of manners. Not that it's impolite, mind you, but it appears to be cursed with some cosmic connection that is neither crazy nor cuckoo. And that is naught a good thing. See?? Old ways ARE best!! *evil laugh* *insert smiley here*

Meanwhilst, back into the nice.....the chick who does sugarinmytea(dot)com has got some VERY nice art though I'm not so sure of the writings, but....apathy DOES indeed save lives!! This a very good site that I highly recommend y'all to check out. In fact my ol' boy Sander, who's always Searching for Vampire Girl, oughta check 'er out. Sorry jessica ((no I'm not)) for refering to you as a chick, but ya know what I mean....I'm only considering the lilies of the field, and not the temptations of the city. I suppose I should write a poem about, but I wont. Not now anyway.

Another place to find good and worthy stuff is 11~15% suki. Lots of very nice anime links and info here, courtesy of the Avatar of The Goddess of Spending, plus other disturbingly interesting stuff.

But enough of this happy horseshit.....enough of being only31% evil. I might as well save the best for last. There's lots of hideous crap out there. For example, there are BLOGTHINGS. Cool things to put in your blog! Cool things like, well....let's let them say it better than I ever could:

A Blogthing is a quiz, meme, or toy you can put in your blog or journal.

To get started, take one of the Blogthings below. Have fun!

What's Your Ideal Career?: Learn what you should be doing for a living

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?: What color should your blog really be - based on its personality?

What's Your Religious Philosophy?: How do you view religion?

For example, one can find the answer to the age old question: What Kind Of Pie Are You?!! As you might imagine, I was quite curious to find out!! And to spare you the grief of six months of waiting, here's the answer:

You Are Apple Pie

You're the perfect combo of comforting and traditional Those who like you crave security

There's all kinds of other terrible and similar shit you can find out about yourself and any imaginary friend you;d care to drag down into this slough of despond. WHAT'S YOUR SUPERHERO NAME? ((the Gaseous Titan)) WHAT'S YOUR IRISH NAME? ((Dagda Butler)) WHAT'S YOUR MONSTER NAME? ((Demon Midget)) WHAT REJECTED CRAYON ARE YOU?? ((Melanoma Tan))

I've got one simple one for them: WHAT KIND OF JACKASS ARE YOU? The answer is One Who Thinks Blogthings Are Cool. What a dispicable display of shitassery!

Meanwhile, the horror presses on at such places as ?msn backgammon which makes even less sense than that shitass Insurance Blooger. I dont think even Jacques Derrida could understand what this goof is talking about.

And I'm quite sure that Jacques and Helene Cixous would join me in stating, with fervour, that No, It's NOT All Good. Also, they'd deride ( semiotically curious pun not intended) The Daily Om along with me, heartfelt expressions notwithstanding. Well, maybe they wouldn't, but surely they'd agree that the aformentioned bloogs are several steps down the ladder of writing, like for better, for worse. Most likely, they'd find ???-?? ??? ? ? more readable. I know that I do! *insert smiley here*

It's comforting to know that in the last 5 months that some things never change. (No it's not)

But...let's end this on a few good notes: Fullmetal Alchemist; the classic and essential Nature Boy; Kujibiki Unbalance; the number 17; and of course, Sumo Wrestling! Here's to that scrawny white geek from Bulgaria making it to Yokuzuna. Rack me, Jacques!! I'm out!! Almost there....up the ladder and to the surface of things we go.

and....

Mood: Sullen & yet somewhat Nice
Beer: HUBER Premium
Music: "Some Things Must Be Believed To Be Seen" by King Black Acid & The Womb Star Orchestra
posted by Fat Nakago at 11:28 PM

I don't at the moment know if I want to start writing some shit or not, but I suppose I'm just begging the question. It's been awhile, but there's nothing much unusual about that....something to be noted with momentary alacrity and then soon forgotten. We will forget about the recent bombings in London eventually, just as we have, for the most part, forgotten about all the IRA bombings of years gone by. When I was in college in the summer of 73, I used to spend my Sundays in Russell Square Park on a rented lawnchair reading the London TIMES. A few days after I left London and returned to Wisconsin, there was an IRA bombing across the street from where I'd spent my pleasent Sundays, although, I'm most likely thinking of a bombing at a different square entirely. I think, in these times, we are a little more hyper-sensitive, and whether justified or not, overly alarmist. But more pertinent, we have forgotten the past and thus have lost the sense of history necessary to adequetly assimilate the events of this day and age. From 9/11 onward it is almost as if we're suffering from a chronic amnesia plague that has left us unaware of all the horrors that have occurred in prior eras, and disregardful of the freedoms and liberties we purport to protect, serve, and idealize. Anyway, I said at the outset that I probably didnt want to start writing some shit, but seeing as now that I have, onward!! At least until suppertime.

Maybe this will be an evening of pleasent surprises for a change. For example, Blunt Girl is actually quite nice and readable, despite the poetry.....more of these and less of the other girl-type bloogs, and the world would be a better place. At least until one takes one little click of the mouse and gets to Squirl's Nest. How unfortunate that it's Saturday, and no one reads blogs on the weekends, except me. But there is a saving grace....on the next click I get a bloog by these three goofs who are Washington Nationals fans. Nats Triple Play. Funny and ha ha. Good thing my Milwaukee Brewers traded Junior Spivey to them. Ha ha ha!! I should have quit while I had gained the lead again, but no....I'm plugged into Ardeleth's world, Somewhere in the Middle. But maybe it's a wash....as opposed to being awash. NOW it's time for supper!

Okay. Now I'm fat and I'm satisfied and Terry Cook seems to have the Craftsman Truck Race well in hand. But...fate rears it's ugly head, and Dennis Setzer wins. So let's see what happens next.

And....you guessed it. It's one of those dopey shitass bloogs with stupid links to stupid useless information. Normally, of late, when I encounter one of these, I just sigh, or shudder in horror, and move on very quickly. But this one takes dopey shitassery to whole new level. All of the posts are links to some specious yet somehow illogical concepts of information. Each posted link is followed by some copyblock gibberish such as rspxzmv pasadena dmv appointment desk qvhz. As you might have guessed, the link leads to something that purports to be the Pasedena DMV appointment desk. But what it actually leads to is something far more bizarre and troubling. It's a site with the heading Information Is Just A Click Away and as you can see if you read it it about as surreal and mind-numbing as anything can possibly be: This website offers the best ideas and prices. For example, if you’re looking for pasadena dmv appointment desk, you’ll find the top pasadena dmv appointment desk resources right here.

In addition, searching for pasadena dmv appointment desk will just give you lots of results about pasadena dmv appointment desk. Your time is precious!

This pasadena dmv appointment desk information is definitely cutting edge. Whenever you want to come back to this fun pasadena dmv appointment desk site just click here and you'll be blown away by what happens next.

What I want know (actually no I don't) is what shitass puts this stuff together, and why. There are endless links on the fpduii blog, when you get to one of those Infomation Is Just A Fucking Click Away You Dopey Shitass sites, there are even MORE psuedo-psycedelic links arrayed down the left margin of each page which lead to even MORE pages of that same dubious lineage. This website offers the best ideas and prices. For example, if you’re looking for slow growing grass, you’ll find the top slow growing grass resources right here. In addition, searching for bob discount furniture will just give you lots of results about bob discount furniture. Your time is precious! This spice girl name information is definitely cutting edge. Whenever you want to come back to this fun spice girl name site just click here and you'll be blown away by what happens next. Whenever you need some more quick facts about "spice girl name" you’ll know you can come right back here instead of having to type long searches into hard-to-work search engines. And don't get lost by forgetting why you started searching for spice girl name to begin with, and start randomly looking for various spice girl name sites.
Now if I am ever EVER searching for Spice Girl names, I hope I DO get lost and I hope I DO forget. And I hope instead of finding Spice Girl names, I find a site like benji avatar or arumanda sees red. Or anything else for that matter, EXCEPT the smarmy jackassery of Ramblings from Regular Ron and his ilk. But then again, ol' Regular Ramblin' Ron DOES have a link to a blog by The Gun-Toting Liberal so I guess it was worth tripping over. But what struck me about the two sites was a little banner that on Ron's site stated that his site was 39% EVIL and on the Liberal's site that stated that HIS was 60% GOOD. My curiousity, against my better judgement, took hold of me and I clicked through to a site called The Sect of Homokaasu which seems like a more convoluted Church of the Subgenius featuring imagery that would feel more at home in WHAT COLOR IS YOUR PARACHUTE. Anyway, the link on the above mentioned blogs was for something called the Gematriculator, which can be used to determin how good or evil a website is. OBVIOUSLY I had to see how MY bloog fares at this, so....here goes! This bloog is:





So there ye have it.

I'm a bit disappointed though. I was sort of hoping for 100% EVIL. But I guess you take what you can get. I was a bit surprised to dscover that my homepage, Blog Me Jake rated a whooping 41% EVIL. Hmmmm....how could that be more EVIL than this!?

Maybe I'm just not as evil as I pretend to be. But then again.....*insert twisted evil smiley here* Of course, my money is on Jason Skog not making it past 3 posts to his blog. Writer, Reporter, Editor indeed! But THEN again, I stumble on the photography of Anna Schwartz and I completely forget about finding a fulgurous and unreadable teenage girl blog to take my parting shot. Very lovely very nice work.

And with that, I will ignore further temptations like THE PRETENDERESAS, and instead watch the wacky new anime Ultimate Girls, or, pretend to do so.

Mood: Sullen & EVIL
Beer: BERGHOFF Original Lager
Music: "Bad Life" by Public Image Ltd.
posted by Fat Nakago at 11:43 PM

First off, before I get into anything else, I must wonder aloud where Anna Feeple, the Red Ninja is, and why she has done nothing to the sorry lot responsible for The Four Ninja Foodgroups. This is almost about sad and disappointing as it gets. Anyway, these 5 gobs better grab all their Eggrolls, Bagels, Cookies, and Vengence and run like hell before the foaming wrath ofAnna Feeple, the Red Ninja:



Anyway, I wanted to blast away on all the crap that has accumulated in the Wired over the past couple of weeks but I'm running like Junior's been running lately. Like crap. Maybe I should do a great essay about Slappy White and Pigmeat Markham and call it a night. Maybe I should report to you about a domestic incident in Kampala Uganda and then go suck another Huber. I really need two right front tires and a round of wedge before I go after Do I smell an ant?; after all, he's making every effort to be genuine with himself and others, unlike me. After all, I'm always up for thrashing a no doubt heartfelt and genuine blog like [[*Pretty' Lil Me]]* simply because it has a dreadfully unreadable and in this case, a cultural incongruous layout/blogtemplate. But I'm afraid if I do that tonight though, I might get loose and put it into the wall coming out of turn 3. Instead, I'll share, without comment, some nice photos of Africa. I also highly recommend binary Los Angeles.

Damn! I feel like Ken Schrader, Sterling Marlin, and Mark Martin sat me down and schooled me on respect and manners over Ice Tea and Cornbread. *sigh* Gotta find some evil somewhere!! *grump* But intead I find a somewhat interesting series of takes on Gay Lone Star Pride. And here I thought LUKE Perry was the governer of Texas. Oh well....please pass the cornbread Mr. Marlin while I ponder Nuggets by Howard Sherman, which If I cared about technology, might actually read. But, I do not know, nor do I care, how the Internet works. Which brings me to
‡Rock On \m/‡ and all I could say was "Oh good Lord....." Why do people use these absolutely vile and dreadful and terrible and unreadable.... Okay okay...sorry guy, pass me some more cornbread, please. *sigh* Here's something nice for y'all: SIMFONI DUNIAKU. Now may I please be excused?

As much as I like ice tea and cornbread, there's nothing running into a meandering mother arrayed in pastel communism on the way to the fridge for a beer. This one is guarenteed to be horrible once it gets off the ground. Someday if all goes well, it will approach the frightening dreadfulness of Bayou Babble with its Bayou MaMa and BayouPaPa and kids and pet gator and some focking Bible Challenge quiz which I will NOT get into because the last time I got into it with a psycho-christian I had this futile theological discussion over the course of several emails. Or, it might someday tiptoe quietly into the banal alacrity of Suburbia Las Vegas.

Stay tuned, and by all means always say PLEASE when you want someone to pass the cornbread.

Mood: Sullen & Mannerly
Beer: HUBER Premium
Music: "All Her Favorite Fruit (Orchestral Version)" by Camper Van Beethoven

posted by Fat Nakago at 11:29 PM

I should be crying myself to sleep over episodes of Marmalade Boy. Instead, I am doing this. However, on the bright side, I found the Best Blog Ever!! Wow!! EVERY blog should be like this ((and unfortunately, most are)). An attempt at decisiveness indeed!! Unfortunately, it probably won't last. Dig it now, while you can! Whoops!! Too late!! Now it's the Worst Blog Ever!!

Instead, I am finding the usual teenage girl blogs...Or...at least, THIS one. b r o k e n. Almost impossible to read, but....worth reading. On the other hand *Miss Kapital Barbie* is possible to read, but not worth the minimal effort it takes to read it. waves crashing;all i need is youu <3 is neither readable nor worth reading. Happy Life is just an impossible mess, except for this:


Instead I'm caught in the company of people who SHOULD have Writer's Block, but don't. People like Jocelyn Smith , Lucky Pink, and AngelSong who I'm sure are all quite nice, but....that's beside the point. Ditto, the auteur of It's CMASHing. And possibly, too, the pilgrim responsible for The Dry Gully Cricket Club, even though there is a likeable enough tenor to to his proceedings. As for Dierdre and Gabriel, well....I guess the nicest thing I can say that their blog, Wearing These Chains is a subtle little reminder to me that I should be crying myself to sleep over episodes of Marmalade Boy instead of reading it.

So, instead of raging and sputtering over the BlogMap on Jay Harris's Amazingly Thrilling Blog, instead of checking up on ol' Sander to see if he's found Vampire Girl yet ((he hasn't)), instead of checking to make sure that hell is still under new management ((it is)), I will NOW go and cry myself to sleep over episodes of Marmalade Boy.



Mood: Sullen & I Should Be Crying Now
Wine: PEPPERWOOD GROVE Syrah 2002
Music: "Egao Ni Nitai" by Hamada Rie
posted by Fat Nakago at 11:47 PM

I can't lose vigilance for just one second, let alone a month or two, before all stupidity breaks loose. I've been remiss and in my absence new idiocies rage unabated. What I'm referring to is this new crazy cuckoo cosmic concept of TAGS. Tagging is now all the rage.

It's purports to be a liberation of some dubious sort, the realtime web organizized by YOU!! But in reality it all amounts to just more emotional fascism. One more stupid thing to do to make one seem cool and purposeful and part of a bigger world. The wired becomes YOUR personal web!

Now mind you, I'm not against a better way to organize bookmarks. Hierarchies are not always the best way to search. But I don't really see the point of social bookmarks. I'm perfectly fine with bookmarking the pages I want to without going through the tedious bother of adding keywords and other levels of unnecessary activity. For example, right now, I have a bookmark folder entitled HILLBILLY. Now, when I save a website to that folder, I know what I mean by that. I dont need some keyword to find it later. And I sure as hell wont have it dont want some peckerwood who wouldn't know a hillbilly from a hellbilly making MY personal web a part of HIS personal web. To HELL with that! For me, the only tags should be HTML tags. Onward!

I'd rather read about British politics, and all that all that psycho social-engineering dross. I'd rather read some minimalistically readable and quasi-insipic college girl blog. I'd rather read something totally unreadable and stupid (no I wouldn't). I'd rather read about the Wo Pong Yos, who thankfully don't tag their photos, thus saving themselves from the slough of emotional fascism. I'll lay this to rest, for the moment with an archival post from Joho the Blog, and then dash off to skewer the gullible, and all that dross.

The Dwarves Chronicle deserves good roasting. It's a Fake group blog that is obviously the work of a person who either has split personalities, or who is not a very good fantasy role-player.

But I can't seem to get off those TAGS. I think the whole concept takes all the magic and joy out of discovery. The best things are found through happenstance. A good example of this is Were There Mushrooms In The Tea? A nice presentation of essential nonsense you can live without. Please, Will Elmore, for god's sake DONT Tag your photos!!

Then again, chewing my shoes would normally get a sound thromping....Della types a blog like she's doing a 17 minute drum solo at a Robin Trower/Outlaws/Black Oak Arkansas concert at the Brown County Arena in Green Bay, Wisconsin. But she likes Joni Mitchell, so I will kick it back a notch because she plays LADIES OF THE CANYON at full volume! I hope she also plays HEJIRA, and MINGUS at full volume as well.

And....speaking of Green Bay, Wisconsin....just by happenstance and not tags, I found the ultimate teenage girl blog of all time (or tonight). It is so fabulous and dreadful in every way imaginable, but it's still compelling enough to wade through the insipic song lyrics to find the essential details. She's the goalie for her soccer team, but no longer has a shutout. But even when her soccer team kicks ass she's still pissed. New London and Wrightstown crumble before her, but she's still pissed. I was hoping that she would have a tale to tell about how her team beat those Hortonville fuckers, and she would STILL be pissed. But maybe some other day.

Meanwhile, more British political bullshit. My take is that Tony Blair is the lesser of any number of evils. Not saying much, there.

And whether the music sucks or does not suck at MusicThatDoesNotSuck, I'm not about to say, except to say that the music that does not suck is the music that I say does not suck. So fock the social web and all that dross. We'd all be in little boxes, hiding from both hierarchy and magic. We'd be playing it frighteningly safe in string-me-along worlds.

After all, what would you get if you searched for DANGER as a tag?

Why, someone else's
Petty fascism of course.
No thinking at all.


Mood: Sullen & Vigilant
Wine: LINDEMANS Bin 65 Chardonnay 2003
Music: "Circle Sky" by The Monkees
posted by Fat Nakago at 10:34 PM

As I speak and type, the Australian Gran Prix is on. It's the start of the F-1 season....it's the rest of the world's Daytona 500. Those fancy Euro boys who wouldn't last 5 minutes, let alone 5 laps in a Craftsman Truck, are dashing for glory once more. Oddly, Michael Schumacher started at the back of the pack....evidently he didn't even try a 2nd qualifying run. Kimi Raikkonen dropped a gear at the start and they had to do another parade lap before the actual start and then they were off. And since it is going on, right now, as I typer this, you can see how much I care about Formula One vs. NASCAR. Not as much, evidently. But I'm here to tell you, so far in the Australian Gran Prix, my Fantasy F-1 Team is a taking a solid thrashing.

But enough of that for now. Let's get on with MY kind of solid thrashing. We'll start with a vaguely NASCAR related bloog: Mike Cope's blog, which has naught to do with NASCAR at all....or anything else worthy of mention, but he shares the same last name as my perennial Lost Soul of NASCAR whipping boy, Derrike Cope. So there you have it, whether you like it or not. But wait, there's MORE! Lake Allison shares the same FIRST name as another Lost Soul of NASCAR, Lake Speed, with a bloog as equally unremakable as Mr. Speed's career.

Meanwhile, let's ponder what kind of DOPEY SHITASSES bother to present us with a bloog called Neat Stuff and then have the temerity to actually CALL it Neat Stuff. WHY are these DOPEY SHITASSES, JohnandDiane, even allowed to HAVE a Blog? Someone needs to go their house and give them a solid thrashing....and ask them what Flip Skateboards has to do with All Things For Home.

Okay, 6 laps to go....Fisichella is still in 1st.....Raikonnen has moved to the top 10, but no sign of Schumacher or Button. My F-1 team is DOOMED, but not as doomed as Another One Bites The Dust. Nor is it as doomed as Sweet moments.... or the seeming quixotic political rambling of Red What and Blue. I suppose The GUrl Bloggy...[Cathy] is also doomed....but it might show up as the next "Kathy" Zone on my first webpage ever, The Test Department. So it could meet a doom of a very different sort.

Speaking of doom, let see what my ol' pal Sander is up to....is he still Searching For Vampire Girl? Why...yes he is!! Imagine that!! It's the same ol' high speed road to doom that Michael Schumacher just drove down, albeit with more style, grace, diginity, and culture. But then again, Schumacher does it without footnotes. Maybe Schumacher should throw off a footnote or two to Sato or Coulthard or Fisichella at the Malaysian Gran Prix in 2 weeks. That will get him back in the swig, ne? See? WE are ALL on the road at high speed, heading towards oblivion, while Sander engages in coitus with the police.

Then again, I can't always be all full of hatred and doom, as much as it pleases me to see Michael Schumacher finish 15 laps down right out the gate; as much as I delight in seeing Jeff Gordon cack an engine and finish 30th as he did in California last Sunday. There's Hmmph and whine and cheese, which would normally provoke endless days of rage, but instead provoke stillness, despite the names, despite the photos, despite themselves.

But some hand of horror always drags me back into the fray. Bloogs that celebrate little 6 pound 4 ounce canned hams like Life of Noah... bloogs like Blair Necessities and all of their sad and tedious tales of medical peril, and puerile cuteness, and the redolent diaperloads that they resemble, hot, glorious and stinking. Or it could be a bloog like Poignant Irrelevance that does it.

It makes me long for refreshingly unreadable teenage girl blogs like [*] u* let mi had a reasOn tO smile'[*] and - when i dd r e am * It makes me long for pages like pleez take mee home...though I'm not sure what to make of that one but my guess is that someone didnt code the page as rigourously as they should have. *insert smiley here* I should do a bloog dedicated to these mystifyingly cute and eminently un-readable excercises in vapid writing and html code gone amok.

But not tonight. The first Gran Prix is in the books. Giancarlo Fisichella is the big boodle boy in Melbourne. Enjoy it now, my man. It wont last long. And as for me, I think I will drink this beer, and leave. There. Done. Good Night now!!

Mood: Sullen & Doomed
Beer: BERGHOFF Original Lager
Music: "Harry Braff" by The Bee Gees
posted by Fat Nakago at 11:47 PM

What happened last night was this. I spent a considerable number of hours seething with furious dictator-like hatred of all manner of dreadful bloogs.....bloogs such as Life and everything that goes along with it; bloogs such as Scrap Happy Mama and dj_chris 2005; bloogs on the order of My Rhapsody Op. 20 where, according to Dingying, paranoia monastically blooms according to my modus operandi; bloogs aching with the unbearable sadness of The Falcon's Nest and other family-oriented bloogs just like it. It was a rampage of ferocious hate....I fancied myself to be much like that nutbag that runs N. Korea. So I would up with what amounted to about 4-5 hours of vicious criticism....some, if not most of it, richly deserved.

But when I went to publish it. Something went awry.

I must have hit a wrong key because when I went to view my bloog, all that appeared was the title you see above. NONE of the diatribe was published. What irritated me most about it was that when you waste that much time on a pursuit of dubious distinction, one would like to at least sit back and take some pride in the accomplishment.

Alright....I'm begging the question.

And since I got all that furious hate out of my little drunks fists last night, I really feel no particular need to pummel such bloogs as i blog, why not?(pick a language and stick with it!) and surly pump monkey(pick a template that says surly and not sissy tree-hugging Leprachaun!) into the oblivion they so richly deserve. I feel no compelling urge to point out that ______finding my way ard..........:: -winkz- :: is neither very readable nor very clever. And no, I shall naught say a thing about [J]eSuS_FaVouRiTe.

So that's a little bit about last night.

Tonight was more about the Bud Shootout which was won by Jimmie Johnson. I was hoping Busch, Newman or Biff would pull it out, but Johnson held them off to gain the win. This is the best time of the year for me. Speedweeks. The start of the racing season. The Daytona 500. I'm getting my fantasy NASCAR teams together and I can't wait for a week from Sunday. 7 days, 13 hours , 32 minutes , 13 seconds from now as I typer this.

Mood: Sullen & Boogity Boogity Boogity Let's Go Racin' Boys....
Beer: LAKEFRONT BREWERY Cream City Pale Ale
Music: "Two Little Hitlers" by Elvis Costello & The Attractions
posted by Fat Nakago at 11:28 PM

I wonder if I even have it in me to summon up enough spite and hate and gleeful viciousness to do this tonight. Normally, I would be all over something like Oh, My Lost! or House of Glass. But not just now. Not just yet. Not tonight.

Perhaps I'm merely underwhelmed. I was up visiting my daughter and her husband this weekend up in Forest Lake, Minnesota. And it should have been a jubilant time, but it wasn't jubilant. It was curiously unremarkable.....time well spent, mind you....but it was merely spending time. I could just as easily have spent the entire weekend on the Empire Builder and rode out to Montana or Spokane and back---in fact, that might have been a bit more jubilant. And no, I will not explain why. If you want chronicles of personal sorrows, well....there's always The Goober Queen and her Gooberishness; there are Asian Idols, which reeks of utter sadness; and then there is Site For Your Eyes and a thousand other ones like it which proves once and for all what a picture is oftimes worth.

Also, I'm not about to do a heretic burning and snake roast of all the bloogs that use the same Pastel Communist design that Personal Injury Advice uses. Bloogs like eveningschool, for example, and many others. Not tonight. Save it for another terrible day.

But as blase as I am, I not above or beneath uttering a resounding JESUS CHRIST when I see something like that70show which is puking with enthusiams, spirit and verve. Also, the blokes who do HOUSE77 VERSION 2.0..... are somewhat funny, so I have a momentary smile. However, I will pass on all the rest.

I guess I dont have it in me. Everything is like pastel versions of the real thing. only not as pretty. My time could be better spent crying myself to sleep over episodes of Marmalade Boy. I suppose I will go do that. Or something similar to that, right now. And so should you.

Mood: Sullen & Phlegmatic
Beer: TYRANENA Bitter Woman IPA
Music: "Back In My Home Town" by Frank Hutchinson

posted by Fat Nakago at 9:50 PM

A few sodden bloogs ago, I came across a bloog entitled Searching For Vampire Girl. At the time I referenced it, at the tail end of one of my little insect-burning, snake-roasting rampages through the miasmal mists of The Blogging Community. And while I liked it, I wasn't totally convinced at the time, but it was bright enough light for me to feel like I had found something worth reading. So that was that.

Well....the young pilgrim responsible for Searching For Vampire Girl responded to my commentary. He wondered if perhaps I was merely damning him with faint praise or praising him with paltry and insipic damnation. I assured him that my commentary was faint praise without any hint of damnation whatsoever. So if figured that that little bit of email shadow-boxing would be the end of it. Fair thee well and godspeed and all that dross.

Onward.

But as is my custom, I check back on ALL the bloogs I reference. And yes, Hell is STILL under New Management, Raghu Vudathu is still boring the entire blogging community, and the Goober Queen is living the La Vida Mocha at the moment. So all is fairly semi-normal on THOSE tedious and terrible fronts. So it should surprise no one that I would check up on Sander and see if he's found Vampire Girl yet.

Well....I found his most recent blogs to be much funnier and clever than the original one I read a few weeks back. *shrug* Maybe it's like Jim Rome. You just have get used to it. That bit on his birthday party was hilarious and yelling PENIS at the top one's lungs is perfectly acceptable, understandable, utterly juvenile, and good harmless fun. Of course....he might have been better advised to yell PORK at the top of his lungs instead. But...youth will be served. Better luck next time. Be careful when you bend over.

But the best part is I read down further and....find a little bit about ME!! *hop! hop!!* And as we all know, or should, blooging is all about ME. It's nice to be referenced in reference to Pikachu, or for that matter, any anime character. It's also refreshing that MY dull and tedious shite is recognized for what it is. As for that little Bill Dillan skit of his, well....I don't know about that Dillan, but I DID date Bob Dylan's second cousin.....a story for another day.....just don't insert your dick at faster than 25 miles a hour. "If you see her say hello....." Etc etc.....

Onward.

So props to Sander. And Happy Focking Birthday. Just come on over, Officer. Just come on over.

Oh, I almost forgot to work in a 1995 reference, so here is it. Plus, it's apropos, and still fashionable after all these years. Yikes! It's Vampire Boy!

And as tempting as it is to crush some little insect as a parting shot. I won't. I simply wont crush a little insect tonight. After all, I am a caring, sensitive person who inspires others. And tonight, I will attempt to live up to that facile notion.

Mood: Sullen and *hop!! hop!!*
Beer: GRUMPY TROLL Stephen's Spiced Winter Ale
Music: "It Takes A Lot To Laugh, It Takes A Train To Cry" by Bob Dylan

posted by Fat Nakago at 11:19 PM

It was nearly ten years ago, but I all still seems like it happened a second or two ago, at most. And if you expect me to make clear precisely what I am talking about, then y'all best be prepared for crushing disappointment. I've never allowed the facts to get in the way of the truth and I'm not going to start allowing it now. Whatever is revealed will be revealed in dribs and drabs, which would have made a good title for a letter to Francesca Reyes, no doubt.....and I'm honestly surprised neither of us thought of that one. Instead, what will be revealed, if anything, will be more like a series of little bento box meals perhaps.....or, the remnants of little votive/voodoo candles long after the flames have been extinguished. Instead of my usual insect-burning rampage, it's a peek into the world of 10 years ago.

I have an enormous achive of material from 1995. The largest files are letters to and from Anne Gibson. The file contains both e.mail and snail mail letters, plus transcripts of our AOL chat sessions. So without any further burdensome facts, here's a little sampling from my letter to Anne on Oct 11, 1995, then from her's from the next day.

My letter:

>>"It's a big, fearsome mecha bird!.... But it's so tiny!"<<

I'm stunned with laughter at this!! And I'm speechless as well.... 8-)

Actually I can't stop laughing. And I'm laughing so hard that I'm wearing my Chicago Blackhawks cap inside out, upside down, and backwards.

>>Anyway, sorry about this.....send you my response attached to this.....I hope you don't mind. Well, here it is!<<



Actually, Anne, I'm glad you attached your file the way you did!! My software converted it and I thimk it converted your letter just fine! I note, for example, that you changed typefaces 3 times.

I hope that MY stuff computes through as nicely as yours!! ((Plus, my apologies for the Sailor Moon stationary----but I promise to make it up to you by making you a tape of some really cool music----you do like music, don't you?? 8-P)


Anne's response:

>>>>"It's a big, fearsome mecha bird!.... But it's so tiny!"<<<<


>>I'm stunned with laughter at this!! And I'm speechless as well.... 8-)

Actually I can't stop laughing. And I'm laughing so hard that I'm wearing my Chicago Blackhawks cap inside out, uposide down, and backwards.<<


Man, then you HAVE to see Dragon Half. If you thought it was that funny with just me saying it, then you'll love Dragon Half as much as me and my brother..... And Darius, and Washu-chan and, and, and...:)

>>Actually, Anne, I'm glad you attached your file the way you did!! My software converted it and I thimk it converted your letter just fine! I note, for example, that you changed typefaces 3 times.<<


What?! I never switched type faces even ONCE!! That's wierd...

>>I hope that MY stuff computes through as nicely as yours!!<<


Your stuff comes through good, but....what does chisai i ji mean? : )

>>((Plus, my apologies for the Sailor Moon stationary----but I promise to make it up to you by making you a tape of some really cool music----you do like music, don't you?? 8-P)<<


Do not even THINK about apologizing. I don't like Sailor Moon, no, but it really made my day to get that letter written on that stationary. It's WAY more exciting (as I said in the letter in the package) to get stuff on Sailor Moon stationary than regular paper. Let me explain what happened to me: I had a really good day, happy and all that, plus it was sunny and nice and I had just finished listening to Neketsu!! Yusha Ramunesu as I walked in the door which ALWAYS gets my blood burning (Ore wa ima moretsuni neketsu shiteirue!!) and I thought, "wouldn't it be cool if I got those Reiaasu subbed tapes from AA today... Yeah right!" So I come in and see the pink envelope, and I'm like, "Man, this gonna be good." So I see it's from you and it's Sailor Moon and I'm fully amused and happy, and then the Ferio card falls out. I was so psyched that I was jumping around in little circles and called my brother just to tell him. You REALLY made my day. : )


So that's a little bit of what it was all about. I'm still not going to trouble you with the facts when the truth will do. But back then, everyday suddenly seemed like it was a million dollar day, and a nickel's worth of time went a lot further and was worth ever so much more. Proof once more that one does naught need battle's magnificently stern array to get a sense of history.

I will note, for those of you who are sports-minded, that Anne Gibson ((Pomona College, Class of 2003)) went on to become the team captain of the Claremont Foxes rugby team which kicked ass.....or maybe not. But anyway....this pleases me more than you can possibly imagine. Scrumfly, huh?? 8-P Whatta chumplin I am. <8-] And with that, I will carry on with my drunken business. And so will you.

Mood: Sullen & Historical
Beer: BERGHOFF Original Lager
Music: "Yazurenai Negai" by Naomi Tamura

posted by Fat Nakago at 2:05 PM

I should hold a contest for The Saddest Blogs In The World. I could give out a prize, just as they did in Guy Maddin's movie.....and at each step of the way, the winner would get to slide down into a vat of beer.

But I wont.

Instead, I will proclaim that THIS is perhaps the saddest and sorriest blog in the world, and then proceed to slide down into the vat of beer myself. All Things Dunkin' Donuts, for the Dunkin' Donuts Enthusiasts of the World. It can't get any more sadder than that, can it??

Oh yes it can.

I've always wanted to follow that endless parade of linked blogs. And after all, this about ME, and don't forget...the only time I ever played Dungeons & Dragons, I played a berserker character who went through every door and killed everything and I won. So here we go. I roll a 14 sided dice and a 19 sided dice and land on {Once A Frat Chick, Always A Frat Chick} . And because I have spells in my belt buckle, I get to then teleport to Davez Ravez. Dave, btw, thanks us for cheking in to his Midnight Musings. Unfortunately, the air faeries have whisked me away to some shite about Conferencing. It's one of those fake shite blogs like that shitass Insurance Blooger. The shitass responsible for THIS one is